~//~Tap, tap. Is this thing on?Ahem.~\\~

Sorry to keep you waiting for so long, and I apologize about the air conditioning.

Allow me to cut to the chase.

I am here to talk to you about a college fiction contest. This contest, sponsored by Minus Times with support from my next door neighbor Miss Dilligard, a kind older woman who gets very excited about contests of any kind, and my intern, Allyson, (who entered under several different names mailed from different states), was open to both graduate and undergraduate students who were still enrolled in school as of the end of last May. We were pleased to get entries from all over the country, including places we didn’t even know were still inhabited, and after much discussion, Allyson, Miss Dilligard, and I settled on a winner.

The envelope, please.

The winner of the 2004 Minus Times College Fiction Contest is:

Gothbench, by Demetri Lallas.

Demetri simply identified himself as a grad student in literature at Wisconsin. I am not sure if this is the redheaded soccer player from the American National Team, or possibly his brother. (It was Alexi, right?) Regardless, he made the squad and will be playing sweeper in the upcoming issue of the MT. This could be one of the more exciting lineups ever assembled, if everybody shows up for the bus. Here’s a partial list of the roster:

Harmony Korine (striker)

Sam Beam (midfield)

Alix Lambert (fullback)

D.V. DeVincintas (midfield)

David Berman (striker)

Neil Hagerty (stopper)

Patrick DeWitt (midfield)

Joe Wenderoth (fullback)

Brad Neely (midfield)

Dave Eggers (goalie)

Plus the usual rotation of shirt pulling, kidney punching legbreakers.

I am also pleased to announce to those addicted to gambling that I have stumbled onto a gifted handicapper of college football and life in general, “The Predictah”, who has offered to supply free weekly updates of his uncanny prognostications. Simply drop him a note at thepredictah@wiredogs.com for a verified stone cold lock!

You might also check back in the next few weeks, as we are making a television commercial of the Predictah that should get us barred from the airwaves for at least the next election cycle.

Last but not least:

Austin McKenna and Hawes Bostic, great friends and longtime supporters of this irregularly printed magazine, recently premiered their documentary, Barbeque Is A Noun, at the Rome International Film Festival in Rome, Georgia, where it won the prize for Best Documentary. This movie about the cult of barbeque in the Carolinas will be screened at select locations across the Eastern Seaboard, and they caught some quality comedy on camera that otherwise defies description, so check back here for dates.

In a strange coincidence, another pair of friends is making waves in the film world. My former roommates Margaret Brown and Sam Brumbaugh recently premiered their documentary, “Be Here To Love Me: A Film About Townes Van Zandt” at the Toronto International Film Festival, and it will be released nationwide the middle of next year. Given the wild stories I have heard about the making of this movie over the past five years, this is to be considered a “better not miss” when it blows through the art house in your town.

Anyone who has made films and would like them mentioned or reviewed on the website in anticipation of the release of the move issue is free to send them to the following address:

Kennedy
Minus Times
PO Box 22812
Charleston, SC 29403

We cannot guarantee that we will a) watch the entire thing, b) write something glowing, or c) hook you up with a mention on this website, but we can guarantee this. If it is good, we will talk about it, and somebody might ask to check it out, and they might have a connection or two that you and I do not. Maybe even an extra hundred thousand bucks or a cousin in the biz. So good luck, muchacho, and keep your eyes peeled. ***

The 28th edition of the Minus Times hit the stands January 27th , 2004.

{ to order, go to dragcity.com }

It's our eleventh anniversary. For our tenth, we took it easy, with the occasional nap, and dreamed up a doozie of an issue. Forty-four pages of stories, delusions, illustrations and an interview with Stephen Colbert of the Daily Show. Fresh meat from longtime contributors such as David Berman, Jeff Johnson, Brent Van Daley and Hudson Bell, plus some choice cuts from Brad Neely, Sam Lipsyte, and yours truly, Hunter Kennedy.

We even persuaded several notable musicians to contribute mixed tapes, so you can hack into their stereo and get with it.